Coyote Carlos’ Top Ten Things You Should Know About Family Life!

[Wizard’s Note: Coyote Carlos may or may not be a dangerous miscreant intent on laughing as humanity drives itself collectively off a cliff. That said, he likes to talk, and we like a good talker. The following, according only to Coyote Carlos himself, is an exclusive public excerpt from his privately published 2015 Almanac. All rights reserved. I accept no liability for anything he says, but if you want me to tell him something, I’ll pass the message along.]


  1. It is essential that you love your spouse, but a happy life is only possible if you also like your spouse.
  2. In the cycle of life and learning, it is just important for children (of all ages) to teach things to their parents as it is for parents to teach things to their children.
  3. To allow chronic mistreatment at the hands of extended family members without reprisal is lazy and irresponsible and will lead to rising crime and conservative politics.
  4. To all those who show respect and love and display the emblems of kin, open wide the doors of your family and save a seat at your table. (Blood ties, which are extremely powerful, must not be downplayed, but they must also never be regarded as the sole qualification for family.)
  5. Within reason, closely report to one another regularly as though you are fellow members of a shared enterprise. (You are fellow members of a shared enterprise.)
  6. Obsessive overemphasis on household maintenance and mundane tasks with no actual pressing urgency is perhaps the leading cause of Alzheimer’s Disease and is considered a precursor to rheumatoid arthritis and faulty knee-joints.
  7. Be sure to always take any alone time that you need, so long as you balance this with as much dancing, embracing, and laughing with your family as is possible to grab.
  8. Try not to take everything incredibly seriously all the time. Every family faces enough hardship in life that it is likely that someone is going to be taking everything very seriously and very personally. This means it’s possible that you doing so would make two family members in this frame of mind, and that threatens to kill everyone else’s buzz. Children especially pick up on this.
  9. Have rules, standards, and expectations, but break most of them with regularity. Life is gray and everyone needs to learn sometimes.
  10. Never allow any of your beloved kin to remain unaware of their value in your eyes. This value is the only truly intrinsic value of any element contained within the earth or space.


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