Coyote Carlos’ Top Ten Things You Need to Know About the Workplace!

[Wizard’s Note: The following is (supposedly) excerpted from the 2015 edition of Coyote Carlos’ Almanac. These collected sayings are a mixture of Coyote Carlos originals and quotes he has picked up during his ceaseless roaming of innumerable forests, hills, deserts, cities, and towns. He considers himself a critic and instigator of humans, and can be reached only indirectly by contacting the Wizard of Monadnock.]


  1. Do not make the mistake of over-emphasizing a division between “work time” and “personal time.” When you die, you’ll discover that all the time comprised the days of your life. Any time you didn’t consider yours is time you freely threw away. (Not to mention the fact that some consider throwing away time of life to be a grave sin.)
  2. If you feel that you have to treat others unkindly or adopt an unpleasant demeanor in order to receive awards and promotions, it is better to not receive awards and promotions.
  3. Be wary at all times of all those with ambition. Pay special heed to those who have ambition but lack skill. They will be craven, careless, unpredictable, stupid, and dangerous. Never turn your back on such a person.
  4. Stealing time is the work of the devil – but on this point, the devil is quite correct (even God thinks so).
  5. Dealing with others is often as much a challenge as dealing with wage-slavery itself. Respond to this by being at all times as pleasant as possible, so that no one should find it a challenge or a chore to deal with you.
  6. You will encounter some of the all-time best and some of the all-time worst people in your entire life at your workplace. They who would be wise will spend their 20s cultivating the ability to quickly judge those whom will fall into each category.
  7. Stop and remember, at least once a week, how hilariously absurd it is to make a living doing what you are doing at this place and time and moment in history.
  8. Remind those around you that death is a part of life and that the end of the world ultimately arrives for us all.
  9. Blessed are those who love their work – cursed are those who believe themselves to have attained this blessing through any means other than blind luck.
  10. Sometimes, they manage to crush the best of us. Don’t let that be you. Don’t let them get you down. Live to fight another day.


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